Project Runway: That 70's Challenge

Guess what? I actually caught the premiere episode for once! Yahoo! Let's get to it...

We open to the Atlas Apartments AT NIGHT (variety!) with Kimberly of the Pants Tribe (yes, I do want a pair) grateful for the fact she lived through the Menswear challenge and Anya the Great bemoaning the fact that, yes, being in the bottom sucks. Elsewhere in the boys apartments, it's practically Mean Gays with Viktor as Queen B. But, then again, this pretty much is like any other conversation with gay men in the fashion world: A constant battle of one-up-man-ship in smug overtones. They all whine about menswear. Regina George aka Viktor worries that now the competition is winding down, people will start to become nasty. On this show? It's a given. Have they not seen seasons past?

Time for the challenge: Modernize 70's fashion. Umm, coming off the heels of that disastrous menswear challenge where the deeeeeeeeesigners basically made 70's inspired womenswear, it's a bit of bad timing to launch this challenge. Oh yeah, the winner's look will be sold on Piperlime. But, since their merchandise is pretty much aimed at women and cost a mere, oh, $500, the designers are basically crapping themselves in ecstasy.

Bert pretty much has an edge since he's the only designer who has lived through the seventies. Kimberly of the Pants Tribe uses her mama as inspiration and plans to make a sleek sexy secretary look. Anya the Great aims for a Jamaican vacation (he he). Laura does the same old crap she always does. OFF TO MOOD.

The designers run around grabbing whatever hideous print this store has, and I just thought back to the season 4 challenge where the designers created haute couture fashions based on hair and then Uncle Tim decided to throw them a curveball asking for a daytime look based on their design, and all you heard was "Dress!" Basically the same thing, only they're all bragging about what disgusting print they found. All seems to go same as always...
...UNTIL ANYA THE GREAT LOSES HER MONEY. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! Seriously, I was on the floor screaming in pain. Uncle Tim, feeling horrible for her, tells her that if the other designers are nice enough, they could probably loan her money. Otherwise, she's forced to use muslin. Naturally, the other designers have nothing for her, except for Anthony Ryan who gives her... $11.50. Man, this blows for her. Even Uncle Tim points out the irony how she, ever the generous one, gave most of her fabric away in the past challenge and now everyone pretty much gave her squat. All she's able to get is a decent length of a tacky print, some buttons, and a zipper. She begins to cry and her makeup starts to run. Poor thing. :-(

In the workroom, it's slightly better when the designers begin to give Anya the Leper whatever fabric they probably weren't going to use... except for resident Mean Girl Viktor, who's going by the "survival of the fittest" tactic. Yeah, watch as no one helps him the next challenge while I laugh. Anya feels that she's going to need that magic spark and I feel like I need to fly through the TV screen to give her a massive big hug. Elsewhere, Joshua is creepily checking out Viktor's design, who, in turn, accuses him of copying him. Well, it IS a competition, you moron.

Meanwhile, Anya is in the bathroom going into her standard dying frenzy, doing something, ANYTHING, to make this muslin appear different. She's pretty much acting like I do after a long day of school. I get up early, go in, end up becoming stressed beyond belief due to the amount of work I have to face in the future, then, sometimes, it's followed by a rehearsal or a performance and, after all this traveling and stress, when I FINALLY get home and just want to sleep... I find dirty dishes in the sink and the place is a FREAKIN' MESS because it's MY job to clean it after all since I'm virtually useless and all I want to do is buckle over and cry. Poor girl is falling apart and literally bursting at the seams.

Kimberly of the Pants Tribe makes pants (what else?) but Laura doesn't think her fabric choices are great. She then goes on to tell us that the three girls (who I'll call the Triple Fairy Goddesses) made a pact to be honest with each other so they'll all make it to the final. Maybe they're just aiming to see a final three where they all like each other for once. In the end, they decide against it. Then we get some of Bert's hideous sequined outfit in the works and more "Joshua stealing Viktor" conspiracies.

Tim time! Guess what kids? The designers must make another garment BUT IT MUST BE A ONE PIECE GARMENT. Oh, and it's a budget of $50. The designers now all whine about how it's not a lot of money. Hey, guys, Anya's making her garment on $11.50. Shut your fat mouths. They go off to mood and, just in case, Anya pins her money to her shirt. Ordinarily, if I was pocketless, I'd just shove it in my underpants but everyone has their own method. Wouldn't it have been ironic if she found her money that day? Well, she doesn't but she does get more printed fabric to make a legitimate garment.

NOW it's Tim time! Basically, same old critiquing stuff. Laura bemoans that resident bitch at Elle Magazine (or wherever she works at) Nina Garcia is NOT a fan of her work so she's getting pissy at her. Anyways, the models show up for fittings and boy do these outfits look hideous. Then they leave and the designers go and make their second look. Poor Anya runs into more trouble when she accidentally makes her jumpsuit's legs a little too flowy to the point where elephants could fit in them. This just isn't her week. I'm just hoping she shows up the next day breathing and IN CLOTHES.

Well, she does and she's sewing like a beast, just like everyone else. I'll just point out here that I love her model's look, especially her hair which I assume is "in" now. Remember how fabulous Trailer Park Brittani/Lucille's makeover was? (P.S. I just learned that she now goes by her middle name "Autumn" in the industry. Saiwha?) Kimberly realizes she made her waist an itty bitty bit too small so she goes and sews in the ten minutes they have left. She's trumped when Anya only has ONE minute to fix whatever she needs to fix AND SHE STILL MAKES IT ON TIME.

By the way, did you see the bumper for Project Runway All Stars? Why is every freakin' reality fashion show having an All Stars Edition all of a sudden? This is ridiculous (hint hint: I want Mondo to win).

Time for the runway, with Olivia Palermo, who is some leading lady for Piperlime. The main look of the evening were jumpsuits, both good and bad. Hell, at the end of the episode, I wanted a damn jumpsuit. Or coveralls. Whichever comes first. The general breakdown goes...

The Safe:
Kimberly: Yeah, she gets the fun news that she's the only one who gets to go to the lounge and wonder what's going on out there. All alone. I bet they have footage of her talking to herself.

The Good:
Viktor: His suit is sleek and chic, though the t-shirt, although awesome, is a bit distracting. I wish he'd play with colors more often.
Anya: The big surprise of the evening! Her pieces actually look fantastic, and all are impressed when Anya reveals the true cost of her first look. You go girl!
Bert: Another stripper look and his second dress looks kind of ho hum. The judges are digging it. I'm not.

The Bad:
Laura: Her first look is bashed for its mismatched prints (her maxi-skirt looks like someone threw up on it). Plus, they look like clothes... not the fashion forward stuff the judges want.
Joshua: The plaid pants are HORRIBLE. And the judges point out they're in the wrong era. Joshua tries to defend himself but he just sounds like some smug ass.
Anthony Ryan: The looks just look garish. Nina says his girls look like boring girls that belong in a cult.

During deliberations, Joshua bitches about how he didn't really know the 70's but Kimberly is quick to point out that while most of them didn't live through those times, they still must be familiar with them in order to succeed in this business, let alone in this competition, to which Bert agrees. I also agree, albeit through an acting viewpoint. I usually explain to my aunt about how much effort I put into whatever show I'm in and, most of the time, it's learning about the time period. I can't go into a show set in 1972 with 2000's knowledge, otherwise the show would be a flop. So, Joshua should really just shut up.

The Winner: ANYA!!!! You go girl!!! (Happy dance!) Her second look (not the muslin one) will be sold online. Whoo hoo!

Bert also gets his ho-hum dress sold online as well. Well... uh, hmm.

The Bottom 2: Anthony Ryan and Joshua.

Eliminated: Anthony Ryan.

I'm really bummed about it, since he's so talented. But, looking back, he's been kind of slipping but still, this sucks. We'll miss you and you're eye for color... rather, lack of it.

Next Week: Drawing fashion from birds? And... what appears to be another. team. challenge? THAT DOES IT.