Friday, September 23, 2011

Project Runway: Team Harm

Forgive me if this entry seems to be very choppy since I can only catch the rerun at 1 AM, especially since throughout the day I deal with going to school (to which I'm nearing my breaking point), followed by a show and running on empty virtually the entire time. Tired would be an understatement.

Anyhow, we open to the typical Atlas shots. There's really nothing interesting besides that Joshua is in his own apartment now and Anya realizing everyone who was eliminated was a friend, but still she must continue! Olivier from O-hee-oh (according to my aunt) says that he's going to try to find his confidence, which pretty much guarantees his elimination. Aren't the Adios exits handy AND stupid?

The challenge? Make clothes for an up and coming band called "The Sheepdogs" (I think). Once again, it's a team challenge. ENOUGH WITH THE TEAMS, we want to see everyone's individual talent and not be stifled by idiocy! Laura is worried because she tends to be on a team with that old fart Bert and he's notoriously a dead weight. When the band is revealed to not be pretty, drug abusing girls but hairy, hippie men, everyone is worried that yes, it's menswear, but none more than Kimberly, my gurl-fraan this season.

Mood time! Olivier is yelled at for wasting time, especially since there are deadlines to be made. Come on. Laura realizes that she has too many expensive things, which she jokingly states that she's noy, she only likes "nice things." Nice, SHINY things! Luckily, Bert has enough money to help her buy the rest of whatever crap she needs.

Designing time! I'd go into detail about what really goes on but read my opening paragraph. I caught Joshua in his undawears and his really hairy legs. Olivier continues to whine like a pre-teen about his working aesthetic. and Anya the Great notes that in the real world, there are going to be people of different sizes and they aren't going to be his ideal kind and, at the end of the day, the client matters. Basically, he was complaining that the mannequins don't match the band's measurements. Hey Olivier, virtually all men aren't MY size (120 pounds, 5'10") so shut up. Actually, there's even a bunch of girls who WISH they were my size (of course, they're skimming through fashion magazines, not looking at the starving, stressed, ready-to-quit not-model).

Joshua stresses that it's not a group challenge but it's an individual challenge within the group. Um, DUH-HUH. Isn't this what this series all about? Most of the designers are struggling BADLY as they only design for women a good 99% percent of the time, so almost all of these designs look like womenswear. It's so bad to the point where, during the Runway day commentary, I'm pretty sure Kimberly was ready to cry while she was explaining the differences about menswear style lines to us at home. Olivier's guy is left waiting FOR AN HOUR in his underpants for Olivier to finish his pants. Sounds like me during any given show, except that I'm just waiting for intermission to end before I actually must put pants back on.

Rather than have a runway walk, Heidi has the band perform two different songs. Our guest judge is the ever handsome Adam Lambert, who looks like an orange. The first team goes first and the band looks like a horrible Blind Melon cover band. The other team's looks just as bad.

The Good:
Bert: Really? I didn't like it as much as the judges did. I thought it was kind of plain.
Joshua: His outfit was sort of okay. I do want the pants but obviously not with that hideous fly.
Viktor: His outfit was the only one that was passable for this band and for the public. Again, I want the pants.

The Bad:
Anya: Noooooooooo! ...Well, she even told us she saw this coming. Her outfit isn't so bad but I swear I have something similar, just not in brown, which is a big uh oh.
Kimberly: She's been a mess this entire episode and her outfit shows this. It's a mess. A womenswear mess.
Olivier: It looks like the Golden Girls had food poisoning from eating too much cheesecake and threw up all over this guy. Strangely, he doesn't think he's going home. The not-as-stupid public is pretty sure he is.

The winner: Viktor. Clearly. His was the only workable design amongst all this crap.
The eliminated: Olivier. Clearly. I want to burn that thing.

I didn't stay awake long enough to watch the critiques so I did research to find out who was what. Anyways, Olivier pretty much deserved to go home in this episode. No one will really miss your delusional, annoying self.

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