For Season 8, I did this mostly because I couldn't remember any of the contestants names for a while (aside from Melanie's, natch) And, on Facebook, I listed the eliminated dancers (or "losers" for everyone else), but I would use the nicknames, confusing the hell out of my friends. Well... let's revisit old memories.
HERE THEY ARE:
The Winner:
Melanie= Best friend, THE Queen Melanie, Miss Melanie, Melanie the Goddess, and lots of other names of high praise
As if it wasn't obvious enough that Melanie could really do no wrong in my mind, I call her "Best Friend" because I reeeeeeeeeeeeallly wanna be best friends with her... but not BFFs, that spot is reserved for Jaclyn Poole from ANTM Cycle 16. Am I crazy? You betcha.
I also discovered that she was the homecoming queen in high school. Spooky.
Did she deserve her win? Most definitely, with her 47% vote landslide, no bottom appearances, and winning personality.
The Eliminated:
Top 4:
Sasha= Mohawk
Duh, the hair. But I couldn't think of anything else beyond "Natalia's (?) Sister".
Did she deserve second place? I could guess so, but she was lingering in the remaining weeks. Still, I'm not sure how far a contestant who repeated auditioning (thanks to Ovation, I saw her go through to Vegas in season 6) has made it but I think she went the farthest so brava to you, chickie.
Marko= Bullet
Understandably so, he has a bullet lodged in his arm.
Did he deserve third place? Since he was only one of two of the final four (???) who not only had his original partner but never landed in the bottom dancers (the other being Melanie) no way. Can't win 'em all.
Tadd= OCD Rainbow
According to Hot Pants (see the list later on to see who this is), he has a very specific way of packing. In a glimpse, we saw that he packs according to color... and HIS SHIRTS WERE ORGANIZED TO THAT OF A RAINBOW. His orientation is in question, especially given that odd farewell to Jess when he was (finally) eliminated.
I don't care if he does have a girlfriend, she must be pissed by now.
Did he deserve fourth place? I think it's justified. Sure, he glided through most of his genres with ease but, compared to the M&M's and Mohawk, he didn't stand a chance.
Top 10:
Catilynn= Bloody Nose
Initially, she was "Danger Prone", but since she got whacked in the face DURING the Turning Tables performance, and since I'd rather not call her "Courtney Galiano 2.0", I figured it was deserving.
Ricky= Cheerleader
I couldn't think of anything at all until he mentioned he was a cheerleader. And then it all made sense.
Jordan= Hot Pants
Her sex-bomb solos and chandelier-boob-fringe tops and aforementioned pants of choice could guarantee her a spot with the PCD.
Jess= Arrogant Ass
I couldn't take his constant mugginess that distracted from any attempt of making the pieces look genuine. Can't they find ONE decent Broadway dancer who isn't absolutely irritating? I'LL BE WAITING.
Clarice= ...That Girl
Pronounced "dot dot dot That Girl". Or "(uncomfortable pause) That girl". She was probably the most boring dancer there was in the field of the Beasts. I can barely remember anything she did so I might was well say "YEAH! You're totally memorable, like throwing in an extension or 12 in your solos. No other girl does that! And, you know, that thing you do with the thing."
Mitchell= Faahlayming
Well, duh. A blind Sunday school teacher could tell you that.
Bottom 10:
Ryan= Happy Pants
It appeared that every waking second she was on, she smiled like a deranged walrus. Remember her weak titted explanation for her week one hip hop (in that 90's get up)? Ugh.
Alexander= Don Juan
It suited him, don't you think? He's just sooo dreamy... if not pretty boring. Also, WHY DID HE GO BLONDE FOR THE FINALE?! IT LOOKED SO WRONG.
Ashley= She-of-the-Floaty-Skirts
On elimination nights, rather than don the traditional booty shorts like every other girl on the program, she wore a pretty, dainty floaty skirt. Every time. Every. Frickin'. Time.
Chris= Lysdexia
It may seem a little harsh, but it's really unfortunate he suffers from dyslexia so bad, he needed help with the audition paperwork. Aside from that, I didn't want to call him Rubber Bones because that's one of MY nicknames. And that I couldn't think of anything else... but he is pretty cute.
Miranda= Ditz
The hair. The facial expressions. Her body expressions. Everything about her screamed this.
Robert= Woo-man.
Like that was a stretch.
Iveta= World Champion Supreme
This woman (who I was rooting for to make the top 10, if not win) won the Professional 10-Dance World Championships, as the judges reminded us over and over and over and over again. What they failed to mention was that she has done this feat TWICE. My hat goes off to her.
Nick= Tappa-tappa-tappa
He was the only tapper this season. And I end up thinking about that Simpsons episode whenever tap is mentioned.
Missy= Nymph
Unfortunately, we never got the chance to know enough about her (not even her NAME in the opening episode, until Cat Deely revealed it). Just that she was that OTHER sexpot (next to Hot Pants). And not a good one at that, so I pulled this by random.
Wadi= Debbie's Cub
I drew a blank for him. But not for Debbie Reynolds, who may be a bit of a cougar. So... voila?
And that's that. :)
HERE THEY ARE:
The Winner:
Melanie= Best friend, THE Queen Melanie, Miss Melanie, Melanie the Goddess, and lots of other names of high praise
As if it wasn't obvious enough that Melanie could really do no wrong in my mind, I call her "Best Friend" because I reeeeeeeeeeeeallly wanna be best friends with her... but not BFFs, that spot is reserved for Jaclyn Poole from ANTM Cycle 16. Am I crazy? You betcha.
I also discovered that she was the homecoming queen in high school. Spooky.
Did she deserve her win? Most definitely, with her 47% vote landslide, no bottom appearances, and winning personality.
The Eliminated:
Top 4:
Sasha= Mohawk
Duh, the hair. But I couldn't think of anything else beyond "Natalia's (?) Sister".
Did she deserve second place? I could guess so, but she was lingering in the remaining weeks. Still, I'm not sure how far a contestant who repeated auditioning (thanks to Ovation, I saw her go through to Vegas in season 6) has made it but I think she went the farthest so brava to you, chickie.
Marko= Bullet
Understandably so, he has a bullet lodged in his arm.
Did he deserve third place? Since he was only one of two of the final four (???) who not only had his original partner but never landed in the bottom dancers (the other being Melanie) no way. Can't win 'em all.
Tadd= OCD Rainbow
According to Hot Pants (see the list later on to see who this is), he has a very specific way of packing. In a glimpse, we saw that he packs according to color... and HIS SHIRTS WERE ORGANIZED TO THAT OF A RAINBOW. His orientation is in question, especially given that odd farewell to Jess when he was (finally) eliminated.
SEE?!
I don't care if he does have a girlfriend, she must be pissed by now.
Did he deserve fourth place? I think it's justified. Sure, he glided through most of his genres with ease but, compared to the M&M's and Mohawk, he didn't stand a chance.
Top 10:
Catilynn= Bloody Nose
Initially, she was "Danger Prone", but since she got whacked in the face DURING the Turning Tables performance, and since I'd rather not call her "Courtney Galiano 2.0", I figured it was deserving.
Ricky= Cheerleader
I couldn't think of anything at all until he mentioned he was a cheerleader. And then it all made sense.
Jordan= Hot Pants
Her sex-bomb solos and chandelier-boob-fringe tops and aforementioned pants of choice could guarantee her a spot with the PCD.
Jess= Arrogant Ass
I couldn't take his constant mugginess that distracted from any attempt of making the pieces look genuine. Can't they find ONE decent Broadway dancer who isn't absolutely irritating? I'LL BE WAITING.
Clarice= ...That Girl
Pronounced "dot dot dot That Girl". Or "(uncomfortable pause) That girl". She was probably the most boring dancer there was in the field of the Beasts. I can barely remember anything she did so I might was well say "YEAH! You're totally memorable, like throwing in an extension or 12 in your solos. No other girl does that! And, you know, that thing you do with the thing."
Mitchell= Faahlayming
Well, duh. A blind Sunday school teacher could tell you that.
Bottom 10:
Ryan= Happy Pants
It appeared that every waking second she was on, she smiled like a deranged walrus. Remember her weak titted explanation for her week one hip hop (in that 90's get up)? Ugh.
Alexander= Don Juan
It suited him, don't you think? He's just sooo dreamy... if not pretty boring. Also, WHY DID HE GO BLONDE FOR THE FINALE?! IT LOOKED SO WRONG.
Ashley= She-of-the-Floaty-Skirts
On elimination nights, rather than don the traditional booty shorts like every other girl on the program, she wore a pretty, dainty floaty skirt. Every time. Every. Frickin'. Time.
Chris= Lysdexia
It may seem a little harsh, but it's really unfortunate he suffers from dyslexia so bad, he needed help with the audition paperwork. Aside from that, I didn't want to call him Rubber Bones because that's one of MY nicknames. And that I couldn't think of anything else... but he is pretty cute.
Miranda= Ditz
The hair. The facial expressions. Her body expressions. Everything about her screamed this.
Robert= Woo-man.
Like that was a stretch.
Iveta= World Champion Supreme
This woman (who I was rooting for to make the top 10, if not win) won the Professional 10-Dance World Championships, as the judges reminded us over and over and over and over again. What they failed to mention was that she has done this feat TWICE. My hat goes off to her.
Nick= Tappa-tappa-tappa
He was the only tapper this season. And I end up thinking about that Simpsons episode whenever tap is mentioned.
Missy= Nymph
Unfortunately, we never got the chance to know enough about her (not even her NAME in the opening episode, until Cat Deely revealed it). Just that she was that OTHER sexpot (next to Hot Pants). And not a good one at that, so I pulled this by random.
Wadi= Debbie's Cub
I drew a blank for him. But not for Debbie Reynolds, who may be a bit of a cougar. So... voila?
And that's that. :)
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