First, I almost missed the first few minutes of this episode because my ever-growing petulant brother said that he was "watching" The Big Bang Theory. Princess Grace has never watched this show, so why is he starting now? Anyway, he eventually sulked away to play video games a.k.a. scream at the television and curse the gods whenever his character dies/a play doesn't turned out the way he wanted/something else stupid.
Second, I often read TVGasm and one of their PR posts compared Gunnar's hair to a skunk... which got me thinking...
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| Kindred Spirits? |
Tis a brand new day with sunny skies! As Kooan speaks some random gibberish, the guys talk about Beatrice going home. Lantie moans about being on the bottom while some of the girls think Beatrice shouldn't have gone home. Well, it's a little too late for that. Christopher is thrilled he won the first challenge but Ven is
Heidi announces the challenge in the first of her fugly outfits for this episode, a plaid monstrosity, while Elena follows suit and wears... something on her head. Heidi cryptically tells them that fashion isn't child's play and that Tim's waiting for them at a sweet location. Because he bathes in sucky sewer juice, Dmitry fears that this challenge will involve children and candy. Oh lighten up, dude.
They arrive at their location for their challenge which turns out to be one of my favorite stores ever: DYLAN'S CANDY BAR. As I squeal in excitement and immediately develop a craving for swirly lollipops and those comfortable colorfully striped pants (which they don't have at the moment. Weird), Tim introduces the founder, CEO, and guest judge Dylan Lauren, who is dressed in a sweet top and tie. She's also the daughter of Ralph Lauren, so I can officially say that I do shop in a trendy store. It's the unconventional challenge which Mean Girl Gunnar claims he's been dreaming of since he was cast on the show. Raul, however, is less than thrilled about working with unconventional materials. Dylan's sweet enough to give the designers 50% off the entire store so their budget of $100 has increased to $500. Awesome! They have one day to complete the challenge and 30 minutes to raid their hearts away. And raid they go.
Increasingly disappearing Nathan is overwhelmed by everything in the store and Fabio goes for candy legos. Buffi says that this challenge is about avoiding working with regular fabrics so she's going to avoid things like pillows and t-shirts, which Old Broad Andrea beelines for and compares them on employees. Kooan points out obvious facts like candy will be hard to work with, Lantie nibbles away on a lollipop, and Raul buys rainboots. At the register, Christopher asks if they sell chocolate boyfriends because he'd like one. Okay, points off for that one. If there's anything I hate more in the world (aside from my brother playing video games and sleeping with a lamp on), it's a guy making really bad pick up lines, showing desperation. He's only two years older than me. Don't fall down that path!
In the workroom, Fabio plans on making a jacket with the rock candy and I notice that he has a glitter fingernail as well, so I'm guessing it's just one of those fun group things contestants like these do, like bracelets or pajamas and such. Buffi aims for a cutesy dress while Elena continues to strive for "edgy" in a design that's way too similar to her dress last week. Before leaving, Tim advises that the designers and Lantie should have fun with it and reminds that Christopher has immunity. He jokes that he could even take a nap if he wanted to and I just love these two having fun, but Mean Girl Gunnar gives a bitch face for the ages. When Tim leaves, Buffi comments that this is way out of Christopher's comfort zone, while Mean Girl Gunnar believes Christopher is threatened by him. It could be why Christopher didn't make it through the first time while Gunnar-- oh wait. Oops.
Dmitry tries to get my attention by recapping the challenge, but I'm bored so we move on to someone equally boring, Alicia, who plans to make a one strapped overall, which I believe overalls and jumpsuits are back "in". I want overalls now, with the lollipop and pants. Alicia plans to make it green with it going into browns to make it "earth-like"... so let's move on to someone growing more likable, Sonjia! She's using gummy sharks which matches her blue hair and wants to cover as much of the muslin as she can. Smart girls are smart. As Christopher says that Mean Girl Gunnar is the "evil" twin and he's the "good" twin (points regained!), he plans to keep his distance from the bitchy queen. Elsewhere, my girlfriend Buffi is whacking away at an umbrella for it's fabric, to the annoyance of Ven, who thinks it's unnecessary. Keep this in mind for later. Lantie hasn't had any camera time in a while, so she whines about having a headache, being in the bottom, and how she couldn't open a store and had to file for bankruptcy. But now she's here on a reality program to restart her career, so it's obvious she's going home. Dmitry continues to bore us by saying Lantie's not pushing herself. Duh-huh.
Old Broad Andrea feels a special kinship with this challenge as she was born on Halloween! She plans to make an apron for a Victorian clerk gone wild (or, in layman's terms, "Steampunk"). Kooan, for a change, is quiet so maybe someone did spike his drink with Paxil. He plans to make a trainwreck made out of twizzlers. Melissa believes that it wasn't going as well as he thought it was as Sonjia thinks that the designs shouldn't look so "Candy Land" as Serious Minded Ven thinks it should still be "wearable". It's his turn for character development as he boasts about his FIT degree, designer of the year status from there, and how he won all four awards given at the ceremony, which has never been done before. But, honestly, get some personality, you cue-ball.
It's Tim time! He goes to Nathan first, probably because he got maybe 5 milliseconds of camera time last week. I mean, I don't even remember seeing his intro thing. Nathan's making a bubble skirt but the issue is that it's so weighed down with candy, it's getting to be a bit heavy. But he's almost used up all his camera time for this episode so Tim sashays over to Christopher to have a laugh or several. Seriously, I kind of love these two together. Anyhow, Christopher initially was going to make some pants (O_O) but instead settled on doing a skirt (phew...). As Tim believes Christopher is ahead of the game, Mean Girl Gunnar bitches about something about Christopher because he's practically like Phi Phi O'Hara (Pheces O' Ptosis) from Drag Race: Gunnar vibrates with rage about everything. Raul flabbergasts Tim while Melissa impresses him with what she's doing with the black (duh) licorice, which I legitimately thought was leather. Go you! Elena is concerned with the lack of color she has (she's only using pina colada twizzlers, which is as attractive as smoker's teeth) but Tim tells her to own what she's made already. Raul doesn't think her aesthetic will appeal to the judges but he's done nothing interesting so far so why waste breath on him. Sonjia's doing pretty good as Tim swans his way over to her station as he expresses approval over the seaglass effect of the gummy sharks. Ven believes she has a wow factor because of the dress, but that's just the pre-show to what he's trying to do. Ven wants to make his dress look like stained glass, but hasn't done much, and drips with hypocrisy as he says he's going to HAMMER the rock candy to achieve the effect. Feegan Fabio plans to glue the shit out of his garmet and Tim's impressed by Buffi's weaving. STYLIST Lantie thinks Buffi's look is gharish. Mean Girl Gunnar is making a dress that looks like macaroni noodles and hopes he wins. I'm hoping he goes home soon.
Dmit-zzzzz is waiting for his model to arrive to put the finishing touches on the dress but Tim's worried for him because he has no idea when the models are arriving. Does Lifetime have to lie on THIS SHOW TOO?! Kooan's back to charging speed, tells Tim he's starting over from scratch, and has an orgasm. Tim likes Alicia's idea but STYLIST Lantie throws him off when she says that she's going to use laptop sleeves as part of the design. He's all, "Um, isn't there supposed to be CANDY invovled?" but he bypasses that by bringing up the time issue. As for Old Broad Andrea, Tim says he's underwhelmed with her design that she thought was so rocking. Andrea now feels screwed, tries not the cry, and gives us a look at what this confessional area looks like so she can have a moment and tell the cameras to stop rolling.
Around this time, my sister entered the room and had an idea that she thought was great, which was to bring back the shitty designers to re-compete. She compared this to Rock of Love. I hung my head as logic bounced off of her.
It's now the final hours and Old Broad Andrea has calmed down just a teense. She's starting anew, sort of, but now feels lost with her design. Dmit-zzzzz whines about the candy not shining and Elena whines about puking from the smell of the melting Twizzlers. Kooan's dress, unsurprisingly, is butt ugly but Buffi would eat it. Just when the designers wonder where their models are, the models arrive for fittings. Most of the designers, particularly Christopher, don't have anything ready for them so the model dine on the candy. And who says models don't eat? Dmit-zzzzz finally tries on the damn thing and thinks he's on top but I frankly don't care. Sonjia can't believe how serious everyone is about finishing on time (which is pretty much the premise of the whole show). And the models leave into the night once more. Old Broad Andrea ponders what to do but Mean Girl Gunnar takes a cue from his predecessor, Joshua McKinley the Irritable, and take a peek around at what the others are doing. Christopher calls him "weird" and plans to keep his distance from him.
With 4 hours to go, Ven thinks that the top is going to consist of him and Sonjia, while she finds him sophisticated as she's edgy. Andrea now is trying to line the white of her dress with licorice, taking Tim's advice to heart, but regrets cutting her garment and is worried she might go home tomorrow. STYLIST Lantie is now second guessing the laptop sleeves so she's starting over and uses the umbrella fabric. And we all know how well that goes in this challenge. Just ask Joshua C. and the pet store challenge. This prompts Mean Girl Gunnar to whine so I ignored him as the designers race to finish with only 35 minutes left. Kooan glues cotton candy to his dress while Ven bitches that women would never wear Kooan's clothes. You can just ask Alexander McQueen for a reference there, Ven. Meanwhile, Buffi, who dines on rainbows, smiles, and crazy, is making a bird's nest with the cotton candy that looks kind of neat. Melissa hasn't said anything in a while so it's her task to talk about being burned by the glue gun when, as if on cue, Elena's making a huge fuss. Turns out some of the molten glue dripped onto her hand and thigh. Ow, that's gotta sting but, really, she's overreacting. Christopher makes a valid point over why she would wear "hoochie shorts to work!" HUGS. I mean, yeah, glue guns hurt but, seriously, Elena looks like she's having a heart attack. IT'S JUST GLUE! MAN UP!
The next day,, Elena feels tired and defeated and in pain from the hot glue. Cry me a river. Kooan spots something's off with his... thing and is horrified to discover that the cotton candy is all gone. Sonjia is well aware that cotton candy practically vaporizes the second it touches the air so he's in trouble. Buffi realizes the same thing happened to her nest, which now looks like a pink discus, causing everyone to laugh. Meanwhile, STYLIST Lantie is positive she's sticking around, which translates to "SEE YA!"
Tim arrives but Gunnar's ridiculous hair just drives me to hate him even more. Then the models arrive but everyone is having problems removing their garments without destroying them. Elena, her model, and another designer manage to get hers off the form but ripped it a little. Oops. But, luckily, she has an hour to glue the shit out of it. Mean Girl Gunnar is edited to laugh at this incident and I hope a safe lands on his head. Some hair, make up, and Ven's ever boring personality goes by and it's runway time!
Heidi's fashion faux-pas, part 2, comes in the form of a SNAKESKIN jumpsuit that is not flattering in any way, shape, or form. Since we already know Dylan's the guest judge, let the games begin!
Mean Girl Gunnar's outfit looks kind of stupid, especially the skirt, while Sonjia's blue dress looks pretty swanky but Melissa's black piece looks like a dominatrix's dream. I mean, where's the whip? Nathan reveals his skirt weighs 20 pounds so his model has no choice but to hold it the entire time. Maybe he got inspiration from this Eurovision winner whose outfit was made of porcelain. Poor Old Broad Andrea's dress is a (miles better) copy of Vincent's recycle dress some a few season back and Alicia's overalls were possibly better in theory. Elena's dress is so so, even with the candy falling off but I love the coloring of Fabio's blue skirt. Dmit-zzzzz's isn't that bad, Kooan's another ridiculous mess, and Christopher's is another home run in my book. Raul's looks like it was ripped from an Old Navy commercial and Buffi's, as crazy as it looks, looks really cutesy. As for STYLIST Lantie... oh my, what a mess. It looks like a rejected costume from "That 70's Show", and that's unfortunate, even when Queen of Tacky Buffi notices the lack of candy she used... and it's a CANDY challenge. As for Ven, it's another elegant dress which really does look like stained glass. I guess his thing is roses.
Once more, Heidi simply calls the top and bottom 6, which, unfortunately, includes Mean Girl Gunnar. In the lounge, Old Broad Andrea (who had a 1 on her dress) is relieved to have been safe but she's glad she stayed true to her aesthetic. We'll see how long she lasts there.
THE GOOD:
Sonjia: Heidi likes the texture of the dress and the shape of the back but hates the hat she made. Dylan loves the use of the blues and the angles of the dress. Kors also liked the back while Resident Bitch Nina says it didn't bother her that it looked like a costume, the theme rocks.
Ven: Heidi believes he has great tastes (pun?) and would love to wear the dress he made. Nina calls it "candy couture". Kors likes how he has no idea there's just rock candy and licorice used and the asymmetry. He kept it clean and it came out chic. Dylan is impressed how he manipulated the candy to make it look like that but is bummed that he only used 2 types of candy. Well, it's not like he has a week to use 12 easily destroyed items to make a gown.
Mean Girl Gunnar (sonofabitch): Heidi likes what he's done and thinks it looks chic. Dylan would display it in a window because he managed to make a "print" through the twizzlers. Nina calls it cute and Kors liked how he thought about the woman's body. Gunnar's reaction to these critiques still makes me want to punch him.
THE BAD:
Buffi: She wanted to be playful and chose Carrie from Sex and the City as a muse. Now, while Heidi loves the unconventional challenge, she hates that the skirt lacks candy and is mostly fabric and that Buffi over-accessorized the model, making her look like a 5 year old. Kors compares it to a Toddlers and Tiaras dress (is Lifetime planning to buy THAT show?) and the top looked like it melted. Nina thinks she took the easy way out regarding the skirt, but the only saving grace is Dylan saying she liked the fun graphic top but not the bottom. Keep in mind Buffi's the only one who doesn't come off as combative with the judges.
Lantie: She brags that it's the second dress she made for this challenge. Kors points out that it's the same issues from the last challenge, and that she didn't desgin, she STYLED. Lantie argues with him. Dylan likes how she incorporated the signature stripes of the store but was disappointed that she didn't use the candy as much. Heidi finds it very hard to judge, and I think this is where they show a show of the rain boots Lantie thought was a good idea to restyle (Crocs called and thought those things were ugly). Nina didn't think it looked so bad but she hates how Lantie keeps coming up with excuses.
Elena: Her dress now looks like it has gone through a war. Heidi knew it was hers because it used the same shape from the last challenge. However, this isn't good, especially when it makes the girl looks big. Kors calls it Rigatoni Mad Max, there's no joy, and her boobs look like old man eyes. This now makes me look at boobs in a whole new way. Elena tries to argue by saying she likes her silhouette but Heidi says that it makes her model look like a dude while Dylan thought it was flat. Nina points out that it's a cohesive look for Elena but there's no fun in it and she HAS to break out of monotones. Elena scowls.
The designers depart and Buffi gives a sad face which made me want to hug her, but at least she's taking it in stride, unlike STYLIST Lantine who bitches and grieves. Deliberations aren't nothing to note of EXCEPT that Kors said Gunnar was "the only one" who thought of using the candy as an accessory. Um, Sonjia and Buffi made hats, and aren't hats accessories? I fear favoritism, but, thankfully, he's forgotten when the judges bring it down to Sonjia and Ven.
The designers are called back for the results:
Winner: Ven. I really wish that I could be more excited but the dick doesn't even bother to smile, so it makes his confessional sound very scripted, and flat. But, hey, at least Gunnar didn't win, and I'll bet he's seething with rage.
Bottom 2: Buffi (no!) and Lantie
Eliminated: Lantie (phew!). Hey, you can't do the same thing twice, STYLIST.
Backstage, a relieved Buffi gets a HUGE hug from Christopher and comically vows to never use pink again and dye her hair black, to which the others protest. Aww.
NEXT TIME: It's the first team challenge of the season (please God, let it be the ONLY one), which is possibly designer for past PR competitors, including ANYA THE GREAT (yay!). Bitchiness is abound.
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