Project Runway: Let's Get Some Shoes, BETCH

Previously on PR: The designers go camping and, rather than fight each other to the death, they had to make designs based on the surroundings. We've reached the halfway point of the competition and Justin decided to up the ante. Inga kicked ass and won and it was between Karen's muumuu and Justin's foaming vagina (is it me, or are vaginas getting a bit too much attention lately?). Unfortunately, Justin got axed... but then was saved by Uncle Tim!

It's a brand spanking new day and Justin is grateful to have been saved last time. As he tries not to cry in his interview, he says that he has the fire and the passion to continue. Inga thinks it was awesome that Tim used the save on him while Alexander worries that no one can be safe anymore now that the Tim Gunn save has been used. He confesses that Bradon is his biggest competition because he knows that the judges practically adore him. Kate the Comeback Kid tells us that she was eliminated at this point in her season that I never watched so she doesn't want history to repeat itself. Prissy Punk Helen says that now is the time to get serious and that she wants to win it all.

Today, Heidi greets the designers in a shirt that she thought was a dress and some seriously killer stilettos. Moesha, however, remains in a modest black dress. For the challenge, Heidi tells them that they're going to be doing a little "soul/SOLE searching" and that they're heading off to the Marie Claire closet to find out more details. Tiny Dom is no fool and accurately guesses that the challenge has something to do with shoes based on Heidi's killer heels.

At the MC closet, Inga hopes that this challenge will be difficult as she has immunity while Karen fangirls over being in the closet. Kate also fangirls because it's every girl's dream to be in a fashionable library of shoes. With Tim Gunn today is Editor in Chief of Marie Claire, Anne Fulenwider, who tells them that they are standing in her FAVORITE place in all of the MC offices. Tim and Anne cut straight to the point about the challenge: They're designing around SHOES! Be prepared as I'm using Kelly references gratuitously. But why shoes? Anne tells them that, according to the readers of MC, they often base their outfits primarily on their shoes, so they're the ultimate accessory. As such, the shoes the designers pick will also be the ones their models will wear on the runway. Tiny Dom is super relieved that, for once, the challenge is straightforward...

...until she notices the buzzers on the ground. The hell? Oh, Anne is not going to let them off that easy. They must compete in a quiz in order to pick their shoes. Kunt gets nervous because, as a "self taught" designer competing against "educated" ones, he might end up last. Only Inga doesn't get to play, as she won the last challenge, so she gets to pick her shoes first. Inga decides to take a big risk and, after some deliberation, chooses thigh high gladiator sandals. Nice! Now, let's get it started!

Kunt, unfortunately, answers the first correct answer and he chooses a similar ankle length gladiator heel. He then thinks he's hot shit by saying that, by answering one measly trivia question, he's embarrassed for the others for not knowing it (or, you know, they didn't have a chance to hit their buzzer) and that they don't know their fashion history. I wonder if he's met Serena ChaCha.

Another dimwit who tried to use "education" against their peers.

Yeah, knowing that a pair of shoes was inspired by a model's nail polish doesn't make you that much better than educated designers, it makes you a poor, pathetic geek. Jeremy wins next and picks Kimora Lee Simmons' thigh high stripper boots. Following him, Karen chooses Paris Hilton's rejected heels that eerily match Karen's sweater. Helen goes for the obvious choice for her and picks ankle boots with studs on the toes. Kate, however, picks these ridiculously ugly red sandals(?) that look damn near impossible to walk in (and they only have a two inch heel). When Alexander picks his shoes, he goes for cream colored mary jane wedges and requests that he get a pair in a size 12. We have the same shoe size in women's. That's scary. Justin picks out heels only a drag queen could love, leaving Miranda the Riveter, Tiny Dom, and Bradon left. Miranda says that she wonders why they don't ask irrelevant questions about wallpaper or something because she's practically screwed. Bradon wins after saying something about the Ruby slippers so he goes for their cousins: Gold slippers. It's down to Tiny Dom and Miranda and, after neither can answer a question about the little black dress (It's not Gucci), Tiny Dom is the victor and grabs colorful creepers. Miranda is slightly embarrassed that she landed in last place but it's all worth it because she picked the shoes she wanted all along: Slick red loafers. Sadly, nobody chose the metallic blue Doc Marten's.

After the game show, Tim gives the designers a good thirty minutes in the closet to sketch their ideas. Inga takes advantage of her shoes and puts them on. Kunt still cannot grasp that useless information is only good for dinner conversation, not an invitation for MENSA, and is still mighty proud for answering ONE question. I really want to punch him. Ditto for Jeremy, who chuckles at the fact that Tiny Dom or Miranda could answer the LBD question (Look, we're not all shut ins. Hell, I guessed Givenchy because of Audrey Hepburn but Coco Chanel has her bona fides). Plus, it was only two people, not an entire institute. Now STFU. Jeremy feels really confident with his place in the competition and says that he'll try to incorporate the chain of the boots into his design, which consists of a cable sweater... yes, because Christmas wear is IN. Helen tries to work with the studded toe on her boots but lands on a black dress with a cape. Meanwhile, Kunt says he's going to mix it up a teense and says that he'll make a jacket dress. FINALLY. A dress he can make that actually makes the girl bigger with no excuses! Coming off the last challenge with her cool avant-garde dress, Miranda the Riveter feels exhausted because it was just "safe" but she loves her shoes so I guess it doesn't matter in the end. Alexander theQueen (GOT ONE!) goes for a power woman on the go. In plaid pants. Sure.

At Mood, Kunt bemoans that he REALLY wanted to get Inga's shoes. Seriously, this dude is obsessed with her like Crapple Cathy and Abby Lee. With a suggested budget of $250, the designers go crazy. Bradon's flats are a bit tricky for him to work with so he's aiming to find fabrics that match. As the designers flit around, Swatch licks Tim's ear, sealing my love for the mascot. Miranda goes for the wool plaids to match her red shoes. This, however, sends Alexander theQueen into a bit of tizzy as HE'S using similar plaid fabric. But he's just concerned that the judges might lump the two together for similar looks. In the workroom, Alexander sees that Miranda is also making plaid pants! GASP! He goes over to his bestie Bradon to ask if he should be worried. Bradon calls it the battle of the tartans (hee!). Kunt hasn't said anything in three minutes so he rears his head in to point out the obvious that this will help someone but hurt the other.

Today, it's Kate's turn to recap, but there's nothing too interesting there, so let's check on Tiny Dom and her growing love for her creepers. As she takes out her fabrics, she finds that she practically matched all the colors of her shoes perfectly. To help with her design, Inga has Karen try on the gladiator sandals. Inga plans to make a short dress to really show off the shoes. Kunt whiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiines about being in either the bottom or just safe and, again, refers to himself in the third person. Good god, when will it end? Kate's strategy is to keep the garment pretty basic so she can show off... whatever those things are. Bradon notes that, at this point, EVERY ONE is competition while Jeremy the Hard to Please shows off his design to Alexander theQueen, who still finds Jeremy to be his competition. Elsewhere, Bradon decides to try ANOTHER sewing technique, this time it's from the French word for boiling where the fabric looks like water being boiled through intricate draping. I hope he doesn't fall into the same path Rami from Season 4 went into and did nothing but drape, drape, drape everything... EVEN DENIM.

As Tim walks in to a disturbingly quiet work room once more, he says that he's thrilled everyone is taking this task so seriously. Inga is up first and launches into a car salesman by saying that, while the shoes do look S&M, she aims to make her design have them appear to be fun and cute as well. It will be a statement but without the whip. God, I love this broad. Karen, however, is not impressed with Inga's plan. Moving on to Justin, who is two seconds away from giving Tim a blowjob for saving him. He aims to make a three piece outfit. Miranda's plan is to make a high wasted pant with a blouse and a jacket. Bradon is worried for her since she's pretty much making the same exact thing from the bowtie challenge, but, thankfully (?), not with the pencil skirt included. However, it still looks 80's. Miranda tells us that the last time Tim gave her advice, it royally screwed her over so she's just going to stick to her guns. Alexander theQueen tells Tim of his worries of doing similar pants to Miranda, but Tim tells him that, if HIS pants are better, then it won't matter. On to Kunt, where Tim calls it over-designed and dated. Bradon says that he was drawn to the print of the shoes but doesn't want to make it so casual. Kunt says that Bradon's design would be something that his great-great grandmother would wear in her casket. There's a slave joke I almost could have put down here but that is far too tasteless, even for me. Anyway, Helen senses that Bradon is in trouble when Tim asks him about where his girl would be going and Bradon hasn't got a clue. Jeremy has no idea what Bradon has done. Bradon likes the technique but feels that it isn't right for the garment.

On to Kate, who's making mom pants, and then Jeremy who has bold shoes and Bradon likes his styling. Tiny Dom loves her creepers so she's aiming to make a t-shirt dress (again?). She hopes that the judges will see the effort she made into her look. Karen was inspired by the bold color but Tim wonders if the dress and the shoes are too matchy. Prissy Punk Helen did a basic dress, even though she wanted to do something more tailored. Tim calls it something Kate Middleton would wear, but without the lace. Inga doesn't think it's so fresh or modern. And thus, Tim leaves in good spirits.

Bradon's new plan is to use the technique to make a top, not a dress, and work on a skirt. Tiny Dom says that while he has a good eye for the draping, it isn't great to pair with a skirt. Prissy Punk Helen hopes the matronly vibe will go away when her dress is completed. Karen admits that even she wants to wear Helen's design. As Jeremy notes how everyone is worried about time and how he wishes he could have more, Tiny Dom wonders how will it go down with the plaid pants.

In the sewing room, Kunt feels the need to stir some shit so he asks about the pant debacle. He also notes that, with the "weak links" gone, people are becoming more competitive. As Jeremy and Alexander have a tiny fight over a sewing machine (which kind of looks more playful than bitchy), Kunt believes that it's time to stop assisting and to bring out the knives. I hope he asks for help later so he can be a little hypocrite. As Tiny Dom frets over her piecing, Bradon says that everyone is their own worst enemy. He's getting frustrated and goes to talk on the phone to Josh, his now fiancee. He cries, says the same all lovey-dovey crap, and admits to feeling the pressure.

Runway Day. Miranda just needs to sew a zipper on her pants and feels very confident in her look. Alexander, on the other hand, hopes that he can beat her. Tim enters to give the two hour speech but this time advises the designers to be careful when accessorizing since they already have the shoes they're working with. In the time before the show, Bradon realizes that he has to hem his circle skirt and he must do it by hand. Inga is also hemming her dress and adding lace detail. Alexander runs into a problem when he has made his pants just a teense too tight for his girl, who can get her foot through the leg. So, he simply cuts open the inseam a bit and sews her into them. Clever! Though Miranda is confident that her pants are completely different from Alexander's, Alexander believes that Miranda's are a crazy mess. Kunt says something that I just don't care for and Kate is worried for Bradon, who's making Nastasia look older than... NINETEEN? Jeremy thinks his design is ambitious while everyone comments on Miranda's model's hair, which Kunt describes as "Amy Winehouse after she OD'd." Um, she overdosed pretty much every day until her death so that's just typical Amy Winehouse. In the crunch, Bradon admits that, this time, he definitely bit off more than he can chew but he's happy with the look. And then, it's runway time.

OMG Shoes.

Heidi enters wearing a sparkly dress that should lose the sleeves and recaps that the designers had to work with SHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOES. Guest judges are Kaley Cuoco from The Big Bang Theory and Anne Fulenwalder, who is holding onto her 15 minutes on this episode hostage. Let the show begin!

Kunt is first and, though most of the design is nice, he made his girl preggo with the peplum. Alexander theQueen's outfit is very nice and it definitely compliments the shoes. His top is impressive as well. Unfortunately, Miranda the Riveter follows and her end product looks like her girl is wearing golf pants. Battle of the Tartans winner goes to Alexander theQueen, who's slowly becoming my favorite. Tiny Dom's design is very edgy to match the creepers and I like that she managed to get matchy without it going too tacky. Justin's three piece redeems him from last week and it's very high end and all black, which works perfectly with the shoes since they're so loud. Inga's dress barely teeters on S&M but it looks very cool, maybe a bit better if it were something like a creme color. Karen's dress is pretty nice but she made the coat too big. Bradon's, sadly, is a mess. I like the colors but the swing dancer concept fell flat. Kate's outfit looks wicked great and it matches the essence of the crazy shoes. Jeremy has made a tacky mall girl outfit, and Helen's dress, though simple, is enhanced by the divine looking cape.

Kate, Karen, Justin, Tiny Dom, and Alexander theQueen are all spared. Laters! Kate is thrilled that she made it into the top 10.

THE GOOD

Inga (Gladiator Bondage Boot): Heidi LOVES the shoes (of course) and what Inga made was perfect for them. It's whimsical and feminine to work against the hard edge. Nina calls the shoes powerful and intoxicating while her design made it look soft and editorial. This is how Nina would want it to look. Zac has to be boring pissy pants and says that it doesn't really wow him because he doesn't like the shoes. Anne loves the touch of lace in the dress and Kaley loves the boldness and the feminine details.

Prissy Punk Helen (Studded Toe Bootie): Nina wanted her look. It's minimal and classic and would have worked with ANY of the shoes the designers picked out (Even the creepers?). Kaley wants the dress NOW and would wear it tomorrow. Zac calls it fantastic and Anne thinks it's stunning and sophisticated. Heidi loves the look. She says it's sleek, chic, and it made her model look young and modern.

Kunt (Damn it. Gladiator Heel Bootie): Heidi was surprised that this was his (in the good way). The model looks sophisticated and hard and the fabric works with the shoes. Zac also likes the fabric but feels the bag doesn't work here, as it makes it into a club dress. Nina loves it as it shows a lot of leg and yet it's still covered. Kaley also loves it and thinks it's cute and cool. Anne thinks it's fabulous and a killer dress, but wishes the hem were a bit longer.

THE BAD

Jeremy (Thigh High Boots with Chain): Heidi is reminded of Pretty Woman because of the boots and she doesn't think it looks modern. Kaley feels that there is a lot going on and Zac thinks it verges on trampy. Nina wants to know what he thought his girl was going and also compares the boots to Julia Roberts' character. She feels as though it should have been more rocker-esque. Zac is starting to question who Jeremy is as a designer.

Miranda the Riveter (Red Leather Loafer): Heidi noticed the pants debacle on the runway. She didn't like this look at all and has no idea what era it's coming from. While Zac DOES like that it's not a typical "cool girl" kind of a look, it's not kooky enough. Nina wants to know where the eggnog is, as it reminds her too much of Christmas wear. Kaley isn't digging it and suggests that it might have been better with just a tank top. This, however, looks forced. Anne didn't see the rock n' roll vibe Miranda was aiming for and says that it just is not flattering.

Bradon (Gold Loafer): Heidi picked up on the swing dancing reference he aimed for but thinks it's too old school. She would have preferred a suit with these shoes. Nina loves the shoes but wished she could have seen them with a simple a-line dress. The top, to her, looks very tortured. Zac calls it frumpy-dumpy and says the top isn't flattering. Anne didn't like this look at all as the fabrics look cheap in comparison to the shoes. Kaley thinks it looks like a baaaad bridesmaid dress.

In the lounge, Jeremy the Delusional believes the judges don't know what they're talking about. Oh please, you tried to make a cable knit sweater and a short skirt and she looked like a holiday Bratz doll. Get over yourself. Closer looks reveal nothing special, once more.

Before she announces the winner, Heidi notes that the three top choices were all LBDs. What a weird coincidence.

Winner: Helen! Kunt pouts. She says that the win felt right, and I say that she should start to be more humble before someone clocks her.

Kunt is in but he bashes Helen's garment in his interview. He feels that he should have won. With that pregnant dress? Please. Inga is also in and so is Jeremy.

Bottom Two: Bradon and Miranda the Riveter
Out: Miranda the Riveter.

Bradon is extremely relieved. Now, he has to look at the big picture when it comes to challenges from now on and not focus on techniques that might work. Miranda is devastated and mad that she got shit canned on a challenge she enjoyed doing. She's also disappointed that she didn't go any further because she really wanted to show at fashion week. However, she is glad that she got to meet everyone. Tim is proud of how far she came and that he is going to miss her. Tim advises the group that they should all stand by their convictions from now on. Miranda closes out by stating that she's happy she was true to herself in this challenge.

Now, LET'S PARTY.

Next time: Tim is a referee and Heidi treats the group to a field day! Heidi also appears for the Tim critiques, Karen worries, Kunt flips out on Helen and Tim has to reprimand his behavior. On the runway, we find the return of poopy pants.