Eerie music and shots of the hotel start this episode, which means Heidi has planned something very sinister for the designers today. It comes in the form of Tim Gunn in a ref's shirt, blowing a whistle to wake everybody up. Karen has no idea what's going on and Jeremy admits that he's not much of a sports person (shocker). Another person? Kunt, who still refers to himself in the third person like an ass. Yeah, that's totally shocking! In the van on the way over (hey, they can fit everyone in one car now!), Jeremy asks when Alexander theQueen last exercised. Like the good theatre queen that he is, Alexander replies, "1876". Somehow, this goes into how shopping is considered an endurance sport. Personally, I think a shopping trip is successful when I manage to not have an internal battle of wills over buying a pair of pants/shoes/a shirt and how it will effect my wallet. Seriously, it's kind of traumatic.
The designers, decked out in New Balance wear, are on an athletic field where they meet Tim Gunn, in SHORTS, and Heidi, wearing what is the most decent thing she wore in 12 seasons of Project Runway: A simple tank top with her "Heidi Klum for New Balance" logo and jeans. Memo to Heidi: Please wear normal clothes more often. They look great.
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| LIKE ZEES? |
Alexander theQueen is baffled by everything that has occurred today. Because their outing into the woods wasn't enough, Heidi wants to get their blood pumping even more by giving them a field day! In five teams of two (don't panic, it isn't a group challenge), they will compete in standard(ish) field day games that consist of a three legged race, a tire run, a wheelbarrow race, and ending the relay with a find a flag in kiddie pools filled with lingerie. The team that wins the relay will get a very valuable prize of choosing their fabrics first and getting AN EXTRA HOUR of working time. After a brief explanation of what performance wear is from Tim, the challenge is administered: Create fashionable yet functional pieces for Heidi's New Balance line, because she has to plug that in somewhere. Jeremy's excited because performance wear and mass market clothing aren't things he has tackled quite so often. Heidi also announces the winning design will be produced and sold in limited New Balance stores and online, which sets the designers all in a tizzy. Tim also lets them know that the teams are only for this activity only, so we can all breathe a bit easier.
The teams:
Justin and Dom: Team Red
Jeremy and Alexander: Team Blue
Helen and Bradon: Team Yellow
Inga and Kate: Team Orange
Karen and Kunt: Team Green
And Karen can immediately tell that Kunt does NOT want to be with her. Well, I'm pretty sure that he doesn't want to be with ANYONE, but that's because he's been acting like an ass for quite some time. Kunt isn't looking forward to this because this requires physical exertion. Bradon is confident with his partnering of Helen and Dom is feeling confident because she's a freaking Amazon. Kate, paired with Inga, has a plan: If she trips, Inga will drag her because Kate literally meets Inga's waist. And so, LET THE GAMES BEGIN!
Bradon and Helen pretty much shoot off like fireworks, leaving the rest of the group in the dust. Soon, Bradon is like a track star and sprints to the pools... until Heidi screams at them that they forgot about the wheelbarrow portion! Oops! So they go back and give Dom and Justin the edge to win. Tiny Dom is thrilled because, even though she has yet to win a main challenge, she did win A challenge. Orange is next, followed by Green, Yellow, and poor Blue team is last, with Heidi congratulating them on finally finding their flag BUT they're still last. Jeremy thought Alexander would have been more athletic than he looked and I have to laugh that out of my system because theatre people are notoriously the least athletic types of people ever.
Justin is very grateful for the extra hour (he's grateful for everything these days, because he's a good noodle) but Helen is reminded that she has immunity. HOWEVER, says Tim, there will be NO MORE immunity saves here on out and Helen is decidedly worried. Meanwhile, Alexander has a sombrero to shade his eyes from the sun because he's paler than Casper. Helen feels like a million bucks because of the immunity but, luckily, remembers that the last time she had immunity, she kinda sorta coasted and got reprimanded for it. So she's determined this time that it wasn't a fluke. One more detail: Since it's her line, Heidi will join Tim in the workroom visits. Tiny Dom wets her pants because Heidi is very opinionated. Tim advises that the designers should look carefully at the textiles in Heidi's garments and we catch a glimpse of Moesha in a simple t-shirt and her standard heels. Instead of going to Mood, the designers will get their fabrics directly from the field and have $50 taken from all their accounts.
Karen is nervous because active wear isn't her thing while Bradon and Justin join Alexander's sombrero party. For sketching, Kate is inspired by her motocross enthusiast brother so she's going that route for the challenge. Helen plans to make a three piece outfit while Kunt also aims for a moto jacket with tights. TIGHTS? Karen's idea is to make pants that are fitted with a geometric design because she's universally screwed.
Back at Parsons, the newly dressed designers find some examples of Heidi's designs scattered all about the room. They're confused over why they're there, but I'm pretty sure they're there for a reference that they might need. Tim confirms this, but tells them that they are NOT allowed to cut them up for more fabric. He reminds them that they all have until 11, with the exception of Justin and Tiny Dom who get to stay until midnight. Before they even begin, Prissy Suckup Helen quickly goes off to find Tim to ask a question. Well, I will admit that's kind of smart. She asks him if she's allowed to use the existing pants as a background and Tim thinks it's a good idea... so, did she just repeat what he said about using the clothes as a reference. I don't get it. Kunt whips out his signature stank face, while Inga politely asks Helen what she asked Tim. Helen blows her off by saying that she won't repeat what she said. Um, okay. Relax. You're getting squat after the show, even if you DO win. Kunt feels the need to butt in so he says that to respond in that matter is very shady and, when HE confronts her about it, SHE is the one giving HIM attitude. I don't get it either.
And then it begins, ladies and gentlemen. Kunt turns into an immature prick by the second and Helen, well, she's not that much better. She whines about how, yes, they can use the clothes as a reference (newsflash: They knew that already. You worded it differently). So Kunt becomes a little shit and, to her credit, Helen is keeping calm. She wonders if it'll be Sandro, part 2 (miss him, oddly). Then she yells at him for cursing at her. This is the woman who called Kate a "fucking bitch" or something along those lines and curses quite often, I believe. Again, Kunt refers to himself as a third person. She goes on and on about him being disrespectful (in a room filled with people, mind you) and he says that he doesn't give a fuck. My, how the tables have turned when Kunt was the one saying this to Sandro. Bradon initially thought this was a joke until Kunt began to go a koo-koo. The tirade continues to the point where Kunt threatens Helen so, fearing for her life, she goes to find Tim, again. She doesn't get why he snapped like that but threats aren't to be taken lightly.
Inga, the devil's advocate, points out that Helen normally wanders from table to table asking about garments and such and Kunt called her out on it. Not sure how this fits in but, at this point, I don't care anymore. However, I'm pretty sure no one is going to get shot if they ask meager questions in a competition (but there IS a limit to it). She explains the situation to Tim and he says that she should keep her eyes open for now. Back in the work room, Helen tells Karen how Kunt is crazy, who storms his sassy ass out. Helen reminds everyone that she's here to win and if she's gonna act like a bitch, she's gonna
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| Whatever. |
After a brief recap from Kate, Tim and Heidi arrive to rip the designers to shreds. Kate is nervous because the lady with the prizes is here. Heidi is pleasantly surprised that there is some color instead of just black, which causes Kunt to burst out in laughter because he needs attention to live. Kate is the first victim and Heidi loves the length of the her hoodie. Helen is next and, after some butt talk, Heidi warns her that it's looking very PLAIN. Justin says that he just got used to Tim in the room, now he has to worry about Heidi, who advises him not to make the top so high up that it ruins her favorite body part: The Boobs. Heidi is taken aback by Karen's odd bandeau top, which, once again, matches Karen's colored top. After 54 faces from Heidi, she gives her the harsh truth: It is impossible and no one would buy it. Kate wants to cry for Karen, who now only has three hours to make something fresh.
We breeze through Tiny Dom's skin effect, Alexander's culotte thighs, and Jeremy's sunburn which matches the sneakers. And then there's Kunt, who Heidi thinks he's making a scuba suit. Bradon aims to do a slimming effect and Inga cleans before the two arrive to her space. She actually has run over 50 marathons in her time so Tim thinks she's on familiar ground. Inga reveals another pair of poopy pants, which Heidi questions why would she do ANOTHER pair. Tim is afraid that it might go flat but Heidi admires her guts. Inga is aware that it's a hit or miss at this point so ride or die!
As the models arrive, Kate's concern for Karen grows. Jeremy says that Inga's outfit is hideous, which is pretty much what he says in each episode with some dopey smile on his face. Unfortunately, I kind of agree with him. Helen's crotch on her pants split open and her model jokes about how it could be the wow factor. Bradon is doing yet another technique that he's never tried before while Kunt decides to start over again. He plans to design for the women who are working out to pick up a trick in the gym. Classy, right? Alexander theQueen, however, thinks he's doing just fine considering he's never tackled sportswear before but he's still got a way to go, especially with the jacket. Karen's model is a bit bummed that Karen has nothing for her due to her starting over so Karen decides to make a loose sweater and pants instead as she panics inside.
With 30 minutes to go, Helen wonders why making a three piece was a good idea in the first place. Bradon is worried for Karen but hopes the "Last Minute" fairy will help her through. Karen seals her fate by introducing #iamgoinghome. 11 hits and the designers go home, leaving Justin and Tiny Dom with their extra hour. Nothing interesting happens other than Justin pointing out that the stakes are higher because it's Heidi's line they're working for.
Runway day arrives and Karen wastes no time running around, sewing as fast as she can. Inga is confident in her look but is well aware that there is competition around. She likes Kate and Bradon's looks so they're her top competitors. In the crunch, Karen isn't ready while Kate is blown away by Alexander's pants WHICH HAVE NO OUTSEAM. She doesn't know how that's even possible. Poor Karen is pestered by her model who keeps throwing out suggestions to her but she's just trying to get something ready. Despite how much she's freaking out, Karen looks pretty tame through it all. 30 minutes has Kunt with an unfinished top and Tiny Dom liking Kate's look. 10 minutes has Helen worried over the simple top she made, Justin calling Kunt's look functional but not fashionable, and Inga trying to cheer up Karen, who hopes someone else will suck more than her. Aim for the middle!
Onto the runway. Heidi has borrowed Gwyneth Paltrow's black Oscar dress, bra not included. Our guest judge is former judge, Melonhead Michael Kors, who sells overpriced underwear in Marshall's AND Burlington's. Now, let the
I'm going to say it now: Pretty much ALL the designs look the same. Kate's edgy, Bradon's very sleek and the colors pop on Ya, while Inga's avant-garde winning design knock off looks meh. And that she placed the pants a bit too low. I felt Prissy Punk Helen's design was kind of dumpy, even with the subtle green on the thighs. Tiny Dom's look is cool but could do without the hat. Justin's jacket is also cool but, being one of the few who made SHORTS, the shorts are kind of skanky short. In order to break the parade of black pants, Jeremy made his purple with a bizarre top. Karen's a bit 80's in a bad way, and it doesn't help her jacket puckers. And Alexander theQueen's colors work well and the fitting is on point. The pants, however, lean into "Mom Jean" land.
Prissy Punk Helen, Karen, Alexander theQueen, Kunt, Inga, and Kate are the highs and lows. Everyone else shuffles into the lounge. Tiny Dom is getting frustrated because she's safe again and can't get critiqued.
THE GOOD
Kate: Heidi liked how everything work but the zipper on the back is odd. Kors like how the zipper changes the look. Nina could take it outside of the gym. Zac admires the flexibility it has from gym to otherwise.
Alexander theQueen: Heidi thinks the pants are very well made and the color blocking works. Hip women would want it. Zac calls it professional but Nina doesn’t like the color block on the pants because it makes his girl look bigger. She does likes the jacket. Kors doesn’t think it’s memorable.
Prissy Punk Helen: Nina loves that the jacket covers the bottom so well. She would wear this on the plane. Kors loves a cool hybrid and it’s Stevie Nicks active. Zac also loves the jacket and calls it Elvira at the gym. However, he felt the top is an afterthought. Heidi is happy that the jacket was made since it didn’t exist in the work room. It would work well on HSN, says Zac, but Kors reminds her that this is the point when Helen makes a face.
THE BAD
Kunt: Heidi wished it had more fashion and likes the back but it’s boooooooooooring. Zac wished there were more lines in it and Nina thinks the top’s proportion is awkward and is too low as it looks like a scuba suit/girdle. Heidi even mentions that she said that in the work room. Kors calls it a Tina Turner dress (?) and another clearance outfit.
Inga: Zac doesn’t understand how those pants work and the pants aren’t fresh since she did it before. And the tee looks bad. Nina states that the pants are impractical and she’s seen the shredded look before. Kors says it’s like guy repellant, with the poopy pants, and "Pleasure me" pockets. And he cannot stop laughing because naked ladies make him laugh. Heidi gave her a high score because she likes the poopy-pant look. And says her kids probably can’t watch this episode because of poop references. But it’s her against the judges so Inga might be in trouble.
Karen: Kors calls it buffet on a cruise. It is not athletic and no body would want it. Nina says it’s sad, and her model is sad. The pants are messy as well. Zac thinks the top could have worked but the pants look weird. Heidi wears tops like that but it has to be loose bottom/tight top or vice versa. Karen is complimented for her work, however, for whipping that up in such limited time.
Closer looks don't reveal much so we get straight to it. Alexander theQueen is saved first, which leads to the winner.
Winner: Prissy Punk Helen, who still struggles with being humble. Nina, however, has already ordered the jacket. Helen never expected to win since this is out of her realm but now she feels comfortable in her position in the competition.
Following this, Kate and Inga are swept through.
Bottom: Kunt and Karen
Out: Karen. She saw it coming but feels that Kunt should have been booted because he's been in the bottom so often. Tim regrets that she wasn't on her game this time around and Karen agrees. It's just how the cookie crumbles, she says, but she's just gonna have to move on.
Next time: I slack so much that they're down to the final four, Inga is in trouble, Tim hates something, and Heidi is so unimpressed with what she sees on the runway that she sends the designers BACK up to fix up their designs for a second showing.
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