This episode starts in the wee hours of the morn. It's 5:30 AM and Heidi takes a cue from Tyra Banks and decides to scare the bejeebus out of the designers by breaking into their rooms in what I believe to be fabulous pajamas... but if they aren't pj's, then what was she thinking? Kate astutely notes that Heidi never makes house calls so this means there's a challenge to be held soon. The group is whisked away to Coney Island! Sue's never been so she's thrilled to go. Hell, I actually went for the first time this summer with my friend.
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| I plan to go on this next time. |
So, let's meet our teams:
-Alexander and Justin
-Kate and Helen, the latter who uses this to her advantage to make up for last week by learning as much as she can.
-Jeremy and Ken
-Sue and Sandro. Sandro does some happy dance that will soon be overshadowed by his shitty behavior.
-Bradon and Karen, who I immediately dub "Team Red" due to their hair.
-Dom and Inga
Which leaves Miranda's worst nightmare to come true as she's saddled with Twit. Nevertheless, she plans to get through unscathed while Twit believes they can do this.
The designers shill the yogurt and the customers provide generic words. Dom finds that "playful" sticks to her so this will help out later. The words get even weirder but this does give Karen a lot of options to choose from. With the snacks gone, and the umbrellas out, Tim explains the next part of the challenge. They will be making only ONE garment but they won't be going to mood. Behind Tim is Luna Park. The designers start hopping in excitement as Tim explains that they will be winning their materials today (which are the prizes). Ken bitches about it being the second Unconventional challenge and that he hates this challenge. $100 dollars will be charged to their Go-Cards which gives everyone free reign of the park for 30 minutes. They go off to have a blast and it looks like a scene from the film version of Godspell.
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| I so hope someone played this. |
With the toys won, it's time to return to Parsons and get out of the rain. I laughed as the group tried to get through the doors with their sacks of massive toys. And then I laughed even harder seeing that most of the space has been taken over by the toys. Tim tells the designers that they can design ANYTHING they want, as long as it corresponds to their words. Again, they have until 11. Team Magnet formulate a plan to make a sculpted corset dress with the sombreros and use the kite materials for boning. Sue and Sandro, Team Punk (him for his shitty 'tude and her because of her personal style) have a bunch of blue dolphins and ONE sombrero. JUST one. Loudmouth says that he and Sue have different designs (duh), Sue aiming for a mermaid-esque look that he calls "drag queen" (but I misinterpreted as "drug queen". How I love the things I pick up on this program). We briefly catch a glimpse of Dom and Inga, Team Awesome, before we go to the trainwreck that is Team Wisconsin. Miranda the Riveter describes how they'll make the dress, but she looks like she would rather be somewhere else. Far, far away.
Some more glimpses of the non-dramatic teams that are Team Awesome and Justin and Alexander, who I dubbed Team Vinyl because I couldn't think of anything for them besides the only materials they had were of vinyl, before we get fight number one from Team Punk. Kate notes Loudmouth's extreme rudeness while Aunt Sue is slowly discovering that it's not going to be as fun working with Sandro as she thought.
As the designers obliterate the stuffed animals and send the stuffing flying all over the place, Miranda the Riveter recaps the challenge, with Karen. Team Awesome continues to be awesome when they "dissect the frogs." while Alexander frets about something. Twit tells us that this is his challenge because all he does is make clothes from toys. You mean toys that are not made from organic materials and from machines that run on electricity?
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| My thoughts exactly, Dr. Holly. |
Back to Team Wisconsin. Inga believes Miranda is in trouble because she's going to be dragged down with Twit, who she calls a moron who needs to go back to school. How I love you so hard, Inga. Bradon and Sandro have a talk where Bradon explains how he and Karen will try to incorporate the word "fluffy". Sandro is a bit concerned and so he whispers something in Bradon's ear, so I believe it was some dirty gay talk that might be related to "fluffer". We may never know as Bradon just responds, "Yep." And they go their separate ways. Karen asks Twit if they're going to incorporate the unicorn into the design. Twit almost has a stroke. So then Karen then suggests that the model should ride it down the runway. Twit then wets his pants. Karen, please do not give this guy any ideas. Then Twit tries to explain some science behind unicorns, but I think I went to get something to eat so I wouldn't have to pay attention to it. Or looking for a P90 gun. On Team Magnet, Kate isn't all that concerned with Helen's bottom position last week and finds her helpful in making the design more modern and sexy. Then, we're shown Helen sewing with the remains of a pencil prize (the eraser) on the top of her head. I'm loving this episode so much.
After some scene of the designers obliterating the stuffed animals, and of Dom wearing a plastic bag to prevent the stuffing from sticking to her clothes, we go back to the neverending tirade of Sandro to Sue. Sue feels exasperated because the garment isn't nothing like she had envisioned it to be. Well, yeah, but this is a TEAM challenge. Over on Team Wisconsin, Twit thinks this is an ample opportunity to change the design NOW when they've barely got half of it done. This does not miss Miranda's eye. On what I thought was a smoke break (it was steam from coffee cups) with Sandro, she bemoans that she cannot stand Twit is here and she is pissed.
Today, Tim enters the disaster zone that is the workroom. He goes to Ken and Jeremy first, and because I totally had no idea they were around, I dubbed them ...That team. We don't even get much critique from Tim before he sashays over to Team Awesome. I virtually throw in all my chips when they plan to make it reminiscent of Japanese street fashion. Ken, however, calls it something a teen would wear. On Team Vinyl, Alexander jabbers away while Justin confessionalizes that Alexander's mouth could get them into trouble. Tim warns them to keep it from looking silly. Team Red sees Karen wearing a headband made from one of the rubber spikey balls they had. Sandro, who refers to Bradon as "Irish" (hey, Jeremy's the actual Irish one here. Come back with a better nickname), thinks they have a nice design. Then, we get Team Punk. As Sue attempts to describe the garment, Sandro seems to forget that Tim IS STANDING RIGHT THERE and decides to change up the design right there. As Tim asks poor Sue for her opinion, and while he advises them to work with her suggestions, Sandro has the audacity to say that it's "garbage shit". Alexander flat out says that Sandro is acting unprofessional while Ken gives another stank face (which, I think, is the only thing he's memorable for). And then there's Sue, who gives this awesome summation in her confessional:
"I shouldn't say anything because I don't want to fucking kill someone and have their head on a platter."
It's like she read my mind for whenever some family member ticks me off. The nightmare takes a break when Tim assures Sandro that they will be judged as a team.
Moving on, we see Team Magnet hard at work. It looks really neat and, when Helen says that she thinks the dress looks better strapless, Kate runs with the idea with enthusiasm. And then there's Team Wisconsin, where Miranda explains the concept. Tim calls it a hospital gown. Miranda feels exhausted and let down. Tim also calls it very "Disney" due to the flatness of it. Bradon calls the pairing of these two "horrible". After Tim leaves, Miranda shuts down as Twit offers three hundred and twenty six and a half terrible suggestions. AND THEN HE STATES, "Go Team Wisconsin!" and I had the urge to whack my head with a very heavy hammer.
Model time! Twit is very grateful for Sophie to have waltzed into his life. He says that she understands him and she gives him a card. Dom, however, notices how run down Miranda has become because of the critique. As for Team Magnet, Kate says they're getting along splendidly, that they're like a sorority, and has that chemistry that isn't apparent in other groups... like Team Punk, where Sandro seems to just like yelling at Sue for no apparent reason. But there's more drama on the horizon. With an hour to go, Miranda dishes on the critique with the other designers, where Tim called the dress "A Disney Princess in a hospital gown." Twit doesn't want Miranda to do ANOTHER pencil skirt because he feels like that'll bring them down. "So, let's have a runway strip on her ass!" says Miranda... AS Twit enters the room. And she stills shit talks him as Sandro laughs hysterically. Then Miranda says that she might wear this dress when she goes to the mental ward and, when someone comments on how mean she's become, she states, "You wanted Mean Miranda, you got it!" Twit, for a change, is rendered speechless. Then he cries, probably because she has the home court advantage of insulting him. Miranda wonders aloud that Twit is no good. Prissy Punk Helen finds that Miranda is in a bad spot and Twit's like a ticking time bomb. So he goes over to Team Red for them to baby him. Justin can see that Twit is done by the way he leaves the room. As he does, we can hear Helen yelling at Miranda for not providing any effort but Miranda just doesn't care, as she thinks Twit is a nightmare.
After all this, Twit grabs his unicorn and runs upstairs to cry. Karen asks Miranda where he went, which she doesn't know and, again, does not care. It's here where she cries in the confessional that she's going to need therapy after all this, and I would buy it but she's been acting shitty this episode and this episode is bizarre enough as it is. Twit finally reads the letter from Sophie, out loud, so we can hear it (ugh), where she states that she's glad to have worked with him last challenge. He then sobs that no model has ever done this (at least, not on camera), that she's his muse, and that it changes everything. He eventually puts on his big girl panties and returns to the workroom, where Team Wisconsin works in silence. This is challenged by Team Punk. Sandro is having a meltdown and Stankface Ken believes that he's just sensitive at heart, and Sandro gives a confessional where, in layman's terms, he says he's a perfectionist. This softy routine is broken when he shoots down Sue's suggestions again. So she gives up and just decides to be the assistant in the design. One last look at the room sees a disaster area of stuffing all over the place.
It's the next day, and I can't believe this is known as the "Yoplait Yogurt Challenge". Virtually none of this has to do with the yogurt, just three words from random people. It's more like the "Coney Island" challenge. Anyway, Inga states that she's had such a wonderful experience working with Dom that she wants to work with her again! In the crunch, Tim enters, expecting an exciting and fun runway. The models arrive and I'm pretty sure Sophie has brought cutlets. Miranda the Riveter wishes that she could have kept her cool if given another chance. Sophie tries on the dress with the bolero and boy is it ugly. Meanwhile, Jeremy ('memba him?) calls Team Vinyl's dress horrible. Miranda is crying once again, this time it's because she feels guilty about acting like an asshole, then bullshitting that she likes the dress, then crying once again because she might need therapy post show. Good grief, give this woman a Xanax. Elsewhere, the models play around with the remains of the prizes while Miranda hopes she doesn't land on the bottom again (too late) and Aunt Sue isn't content with the final result but knows it's out of her hands.
Time for the runway. Heidi wears some ill-fitting jumpsuit that makes her middle look like an inner tube. Sandro, however, is wearing these odd overalls that I most certainly want. Our guest today is my imaginary best friend, Kelly Osbourne. Introductions over and done with, it's time to see what's being shilled!
Team Red's garment is like a way better version of Tanorexic Blaine's interpretation of Libra from seasons ago. I like it but it looks weird, especially since they took "fluffy" a teense too literally. Team Awesome's garment IS FREAKING ADORABLE, I WANT IT SO BAD. Team Punk's isn't that bad but they (well, Sandro) did that poofy skirt thing that no one really likes. In fact, it reminds me of the "wee wee pad" dress Bryce made, again, from seasons ago. Team Magnet's sombrero hat is all sorts of amazing and you couldn't tell that the dress was made from hats. Team Vinyl's is a mess with a peplum. AND I HATE PEPLUMS. They're followed by ...That Team, complete with horrible pants. And there's really no explanation for Team Wisconsin, they're sucks from the get go.
Teams Punk, Red, and ...that Team are all safe so away they go. In the holding room, Sandro says something about a woman listening to a man. Seriously, no. Sue could burn off your pipi if she could. Heidi informs the remaining teams that only one person will win this challenge and one will be booted. Team Awesome and Magnet are on top and will be critiqued first while Teams Wisconsin and Vinyl go off to wait.
THE GOOD:
Team Awesome: Their words are "playful, energetic, fun". Kelly loves and wants the dress and finds that it is very "now". Heidi also wants it and tells them that it makes her smile. Zac thinks it's very inventive and it looks casual. Nina thinks it's adorable and it also makes her smile. She also says the styling is on point and it matches the spirit of Coney Island. When asked who should take responsibility if they win, Dom says Inga, since it was mostly her idea. Inga also says herself specifically for the reason that, had they been in the bottom, she would have taken responsibility as well. Go Inga!
Team Magnet: Heidi gushes over their wonderful teamwork. She's impressed with the dress and thinks it's like artwork. Nina thinks it's a high fashion moment and that it doesn't lose the fun as well. Kelly cannot believe the dress is nothing but sombreros. She also says the dress is very flattering and would be one that girls would want to wear. Zac is proud of them, calls it well done, and says that it matches Coney Island. For the winner question, Kate nominates Helen since it was mostly her vision and artistry.
THE BAD:
Team Vinyl: Zac thinks there is way too much going on and it looks too nautical, with kelp on the hem, seaweed elsewhere, and it looks like a hot mess. Kelly says that, because they used such loud colors, the colors could have spoken for themselves. Heidi also agrees that it's overdone and Nina says they got stuck in nowhere's land. Zac asks them to remove the jacket and the weird pink balls they have on the dress' sides and it looks miles better than before. When asked who should go home, neither man have an idea since it was more a collaboration.
Team Wisconsin: Heidi calls it boring and the bolero should be gone. Zac calls it a deflated pool toy. Nina hates the color combos. Kelly believes it should look better in black and white. When asked who should go, Miranda pins herself because it was mostly her design and because of her bad attitude. Then Twit opens his yap about the Titanic and other nonsense. Then he insults Miranda by saying that, if he had a BETTER partner, it might have turned out better. Kelly astutely points out that they did NOT work well together.
During closer looks and deliberations, Miranda and Twit continue to fight while the rest just glaze over it with ignorance. And then, it's decision time.
Winner: Helen! She wants to raise the roof because she's thrilled. Kate is also happy for her as well. They, as well as Team Awesome, are dismissed. Team Vinyl is safe as well.
Bottom Two: Miranda the Riveter and Twit-mothy.
Out: Twit. FINALLY.
Twit first starts talking about how Heidi told him that he's really something or something but, really, SHE SAYS THAT TO EVERYONE. And he cries the second he enters the holding room. And drama queens about something else. And, for no reason, regrets not dancing more. For the Tim Gunn take, well, he ain't stupid: He agreed with the judges. Twit is still going on, now about unicorns and how he'll always believe in them and FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, SHUT THE FUCK UP.
Next time: Jesse Tyler Fergurson appears and the challenge involves bowties. And Sandro finally loses it.
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